笑み
ともだちの
なまえをいえば
エミうかぶ
English: If I say the name of my friend, a smile appears on my face.
I chose to change 'emi' to katakana to emphasize the happiness and cheeriness of a smile.
心
わすれない
ココロのなかに
すべてある
English: Do not forget, within your heart everything exists.
I chose to change kokoro to katakana to emphasize the heart. I imagine parents telling this to their children as an equivalent to "You can do anything" or "I see the future in your eyes."
暗い
あかるいめ
なにがみえるか
クライです
English: Bright eyes, can you see anything, "kurai"
Someone asks "Bright Eyes" a question and in the third line "Bright Eyes" responds. I intentionally changed 'kurai' to katakana to give it a double meaning. くらい or クライ are equally dark responses because the last line can either mean "(I see) darkness" or "(I see) crying." There is also the option that Bright Eyes does not respond and it the questioner who says "It is dark".
’ともだち’のせんりゅがいちばんきれいです！（いちばんすきです。this is my personal opinion.）I really like that your senryus have positive messages. It is different from the usual theme of irony that is associated with senryus, but I だいすきthe messages this senryus carry!
ReplyDeleteいいですよ！とてもおもしろいですね。わたしな暗いがだいすきです。
ReplyDeleteYour third poem is so clever! The double meaning of くらい／クライ was a brilliant idea. I really enjoyed all of them but that one in particular struck me. とても いいです。よむ の が たのしかったです。
ReplyDeleteI liked the way kurai could be read in different ways. Very good job!
ReplyDeleteとてもたのしいです! I love the positivity and optimism that your poem emits, reading it cheers me up and reminds me that life is great. Btw I LOVE the images you have on the right, they truly show why Japan is so awesome.
ReplyDelete